Hush hush

I wanted to tell you all my secrets...until you became one of them.

I wonder why some people just really suck in keeping secrets.

I consider myself pretty good in keeping secrets. Out of 10 secrets I have, only one will be revealed. And the most probable reason why it would come out in the open is because that one moron who I shared the secret with can't keep his mouth shut like the way he can't keep his hands on his pockets...or his penis in his pants.

Or maybe it's my fault. You see, I like sharing my secrets to at least one soul. But that's another story.

Most people see me as a boy who wouldn't break the rules. Not even bend them. Most of my friends think that I have nothing but good intentions and that I am made up of love, care, trust, hope, and all other four cute little words that you find in Hallmark cards. My charm works on both boys and girls. How can one one not fall for one sweet and innocent looking guy, right? But truth is I have a lot of skeletons in my closet just like everyone else.

I have committed many things that you wouldn't imagine I can do. These things I have done would make you rethink if I'm really the guy you know. Before you get too paranoid lemme just say that I haven't killed anyone (yet). That's too extreme. The things I'm talking about here are stuffs that you have heard or you may even know someone who have done it. But given my reputation and image, you really wouldn't imagine that I have done it.

Just recently, I learned that one of my secrets in no longer a secret. Apparently, the stupid bastard who was supposed to keep the secret as hard as I was trying to keep it couldn't help but share it to another soul.I don't blame him though for having the urge to share it and acting on that urge. I'm just fucking annoyed that he doesn't know how to choose the people he will a share a secret with. Especially that secret. Our reputations are now both at stake. Dimwit.

Aimlessly

As I was walking the streets of Mandaluyong, I realized something.

I don’t want to work (yet).

After my second job interview somewhere in San Miguel Avenue, I decided to kill time in Megamall. I walked, and walked, and walked and walked some more, aimlessly until me feet were feeling sore. I realized that what I have realized is a problem. A big problem at that.

As much as I don’t want to work (yet), I don’t want to be a bum either. I’m a boring person by nature. I even bore myself sometimes. That means I can’t afford not to do anything because I’ll probably go nuts.

Now how do I make ends meet?

I don’t want to work (yet) but I feel that I need to work. Mom would probably won’t mind if I rest for a while but it’s just not right. I’ve spent six years in college already. By not working as soon as possible, I’ll be a burden longer. And that’s just a shame.

I took a cab home and spent the whole travel tome convincing myself that this a just phase and I’ll get over it once I receive a job offer.

I texted Jap (my boyfriend) about my problem.  (By the way, my boyfriend is soooo sweet he met me at Megamall, and we had lunch together, and then he went with me to the find the building where the company I’m applying at is located. He did all these even if it meant he had to cut work.) He told me to think about what I really want.

Now that’s another problem. I don’t know what I want.

Facebook Whatevers

You don't talk to me in the morning when I just woke up. You just shut your mouth and wait until I talk to you. Or until I tell you to do something for me - turn off the light, stop that sound you're playing or gimme my pillow that travelled over the night to god-knows-where. You just let me be when I just woke up.

The first thing I do when I wake up is look in the mirror and see if the parts of my body are in their proper places. They tend to go all over and rearrange themselves over the night as I'm a really restless sleeper. Ok. It's just vanity. After checking myself out, I wash my face then take a leak. It's important to wash your face first before you take a leak especially if you're a guy. We get very disoriented in the morning that we tend to be very unhygienic. You still don't talk to me.

I'm really really cranky, moody and grumpy in the morning. That's why I don't look at my Facebook immediately. I read emails, news, blog updates and Twitter updates immediately but not my Facebook. My Facebook is a potential day-wrecker. I have sane friends there but then again I have annoying contacts too. They're not always annoying though. But their status updates just get into my nerves sometimes.

• Friend declares that she and her boyfriend called it quits. Five minutes later she updated her status message saying that she has moved on.
• She's so excited to hold her new gadget. She posted about it 10 million times.
• She keeps complaining about her students. She's (almost) cursing them. She despises her job. Somebody remind her she chose to be a teacher.
• "A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon", she said.
• He needs to set everything right. He needs to start with himself. He updated while nursing a bottle of bear in one hand, a shot of tequila and a stick of cigarette in the other.
• She thinks she looks ugly in her new profile picture. Why post it then? 
• He claims he doesn't believe in love. What-eee-burrr.
• Friend changed relationship status from single to in a relationship. He's emo.
• She asked for more time to settle the issues thrown at her. It's been three fucking years.
• They bash our field of specialization. But her current job is not for her. She wasn't trained to do that job. That's OUR job, OUR expertise. She's just pretending to know what she's doing and she knows it.
• They're on a (reducing) diet.

They're gonna hate me for this. But at least we're even now.

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listening to: Beautiful Mess (Jason Mraz)