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Two days and one lecture on climate change at AIM, that's how long I stayed.
Last week, after the lecture at AIM, instead of going back to office and making sure all the deliverables for the day included in the checklist my superior prepared for me have check marks on their respective tick boxes, I went home and emailed her and the admin officer my resignation of some sort.
Of some sort because I wasn't still technically hired because I haven't signed the contract yet. Why? Because during the first day of work, no, from the first few hours of work I knew I don't belong there. But who am I kidding? That piece of paper called contract is just for formality and I still owed them another piece of paper called resignation letter for formality.
Sure, I could get used to the social (sosyal) environment, the fabricated pleasantries and relationships, and the efficient-as-a-Swiss-watch work habits. I could probably blend so well in a few days you'd think I've been there forever. But I don't want to get used to what they have there or what they pretend they have there.
So I quit.
Don't get me wrong. I don't blame the organization, the people or the way they do things there. What they have there works and works well for them. I just don't want to belong there.
But not wanting to belong there is both truth and an excuse. Truth is, I'm not sure where I'm headed to right now. I don't know what path to take. Hell, I don't even know what I want. I just want everything to stop. I wan't everything to go into a complete halt.
But that won't happen. The world doesn't stop no matter how hurt, lost or confused you are. I learned that last year.
Wow, that's got to be some new record or something. lol I fully support your decisions and envy you for your braveness. :)
ReplyDeleteMedyo mahirap talaga kapag pinilit mong gustuhin ang isang bagay na alam mong sa umpisa pa lang, hindi na siya okay for you. It takes a lot of courage on your side to admit and actually act upon it. May iba (like me) na umaasa pa ring kahit papano, magmilagro at magising na gusto na niya ang ginagawa niya.
ReplyDeleteAhoy thepinoybabbler! I like your handle. :)
ReplyDeleteYou're doing what I chose not to do: try. It might work for you. Time will tell. Panindigan mo na lang hanggang kaya. :)
@Nyl
ReplyDeleteIKR. I'm a badass. Lol.
Seriously, I fear I may be too brave for my own good when it comes to matters like this.
You did the right thing. I admire your resolve.
ReplyDelete"from the first few hours of work I knew I don't belong there"
ReplyDeleteThis was how I felt when I got my first job. I thought that since I lived through the first month of rigorous training, I can slave through the remaining five months in my contract. I never did. I went AWOL on my third month, at the expense of a few things I accidentally left behind in my locker. I wasn't able to retrieve them. Looking back, choosing to go on AWOL wasn't the best course of action, but now that I'm out of that place, I feel relieved. The experience really taught me a lot. I hope you get things to fall into place for you. :)
Eon
ReplyDeleteI hope I did. =\
Spiral Prince
Hey. Welcome to AP. =)
Truth is, showing up the day after I emailed my resignation was one helluva experience. But I had to do it to show show courtesy and respect. I owe it to them.
And, yeah, I really hope things go back to 'normal' asap.
Wow. You already!!! Hehehe. Sige, kung saan ka masaya, support-support lang kami. Go!!!
ReplyDeleteHey Pipo I was just wondering how you are a few days ago. And then I read this. I hope things are better.
ReplyDeleteHaving a job that you are passionate about and love is really a joy, and a privilege. Work shapes who we are, who we will become, and I'd like to think, to some extent, the good we do for the world.
I hope I'm making sense. =) Bonne chance to finding a job you love then.
Kane