25 May 2010


As I was walking the streets of Mandaluyong, I realized something.

I don’t want to work (yet).

After my second job interview somewhere in San Miguel Avenue, I decided to kill time in Megamall. I walked, and walked, and walked and walked some more, aimlessly until me feet were feeling sore. I realized that what I have realized is a problem. A big problem at that.

As much as I don’t want to work (yet), I don’t want to be a bum either. I’m a boring person by nature. I even bore myself sometimes. That means I can’t afford not to do anything because I’ll probably go nuts.

Now how do I make ends meet?

I don’t want to work (yet) but I feel that I need to work. Mom would probably won’t mind if I rest for a while but it’s just not right. I’ve spent six years in college already. By not working as soon as possible, I’ll be a burden longer. And that’s just a shame.

I took a cab home and spent the whole travel tome convincing myself that this a just phase and I’ll get over it once I receive a job offer.

I texted Jap (my boyfriend) about my problem.  (By the way, my boyfriend is soooo sweet he met me at Megamall, and we had lunch together, and then he went with me to the find the building where the company I’m applying at is located. He did all these even if it meant he had to cut work.) He told me to think about what I really want.

Now that’s another problem. I don’t know what I want.

22 May 2010

The Origin

"In the beginning, there were three sexes: man, woman, and an androgynous man/woman. Each of the sexes was round, like a sphere, with a face and two arms and legs on either side. They could walk forward or backward or tumble and roll on the ground. These three played and frolicked in the fields. But then, they foolishly challenged the powers of Zeus. For that, he punished them by splitting them in half, separating them, so there was two of each. What had been the double man (now two men), said Aristophanes, is the origin of gay male relationships…."

-Plato as quoted by Remoto, 2002

21 May 2010


I woke up 5:45 to prep up for my jogging activity. I decided last night I am so getting rid of the excessive fats in tummy. I blame beer and eating too much rice as the culprit.

UPLB Freedom Park


Barely 45 minutes and I felt-oxygen deprived.

So I decided to go home.


Losers, that's what you are...

"Several losers, mostly lawmakers seeking reelection, brought up the issue of the time stamp during the hearing." Locsin loses it in House over his ‘baby’

Willie: Please release me! by Ricky Lo

20 May 2010

You can be a single lady

Cool dad.

19 May 2010

I (now) like my VP black

I still think he was the best VP candidate.

But now that it is a toss between Mar and Binay...

I like my VP black.

18 May 2010

Meet Pegaraw

Taken from UPLB SystemOne

17 May 2010

I missed half of my life by not seeing this last night. >_<

I went out of the house but the moon was nowhere in sight. =[

08 May 2010


All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

Dalawang bagay lang naman ang gusto kong sabihin sa'yo ngayon. Una, I'm sorry. I'm sorry kasi dahil mali yung ginawa ko. I'm sorry kasi dapat alam ko kung ano yung limitasyon, dapat alam ko kung pano i-handle yung sarili ko. I'm sorry din for not taking responsibility of myself. I'm sorry dahil nasakatan kita. I'm sorry dahil di ko naisip nung mga panahong yun na masasaktan kita.

Pangalawa, I love you. Alam ko na alam mo 'to at alam ko na naniniwala ka tuwing sinasabi ko 'to. Pero uulitin ko. Mahal na mahal kita. Hindi nawala kahit kelan yung pagmamahal ko sayo simula ng maramdaman ko yun. Bawat oras, bawat minuto, bawat segundo mahal kita. Higit sa lahat, ikaw lang ang mahal ko.

Alam ko hindi enough 'to para patawarin mo ko pero hayaan mong subukan ko. I can't promise anything great pero gagawin ko yung mga kaya kong gawin para sayo at para sa relationship natin. Hindi ko hahayaan na masayang ang halos tatlong taon nating pinaglaban.

Mahal na mahal na mahal kita, Jap.

04 May 2010

Kissing a straight guy

What do you say to taking chances?
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there’s solid ground below or hand to hold or hell to pay
What do you say?
What do you say?

It happened dawn of May 2. And I owe my courage to alcohol and some words he said when the two of us went to buy those alcohol.

“Basta ako pinupuntahan ko yung mga gusto kong puntahan, kinain ko yung gusto kong kainin, ginagawa ko yung gusto kong gawin. Yun kasi ang turo saken eh”, he said.

“It makes sense. I mean, I’m firm believer that at end of the day, what matters most is you’re happy. When opportunity comes, grab it. Lalo na of you know that may never come again”, I replied.

We were in a public resort with the rest of our high school batch mates. We were around 20 and we just came from a grand high school reunion earlier that day. We arrived in the resort around 6ish in the afternoon. We started drinking around 10 PM. Not all joined though. It was mostly the boys with a core group of four – me, him and two other guys.

I’ve had the longest crush on him. He wasn’t exactly my super duper ultimate crush back then, but he’s tall, dark, handsome (my weakness) and got these very chinky eyes. He’s funny, draws well, and gets along with others pretty well. We weren’t close friends because I belong in what they call geek circle and he belongs to what we call the artist circle. He was my crush but not so much. Until that night.

He was topless, wearing only his blue green board shorts. He’s got toned body, abs, and the perfect amount and size of muscles here and there. And he’s got nice arms (my weakness again). Even before we started drinking, I can’t help but look at his body whenever I had the chance. But at first it was because I am envious of his body. Who wouldn’t want to have that kind of body? We have a print model batch mate with us but his is bleh to crush’s bod. Then later on, I was looking at it because it was so turning me on. Seriously, his body is oh-so-hot

After six bottles of alcohol (The Bar if you’re wondering), there were only four of us left drinking. Pretty drunk, he started rubbing ice cubes in his nipple. He said it felt nice and asked us to try it. I was the last to try because, well, I’m conservative. But they prodded me to try it. It felt…nothing. My body is pretty numb after all the alcohol we imbibed. So I stopped and just watched him rub the ice to his now perky nips. Holy cow I was so turned on just watching him! I was staring at him the whole time and I know he knows it. But to be fair to him, I know he’s not doing it to tease me. He’s was just amused how it felt.

We stopped after the eighth bottle because all stores were already closed. We decided to take the shower and change clothes. We used the girls shower rooms because the goddamn shower room for boys had no lights and the darkness was so dark we can’t see anything. I took the shower room beside his. That’s when I had my angel vs. devil moment.

And, yeah, the devil won.

“It’s now or never”, I said to myself.

I went out of the shower room and knocked on his.

“Hey. Pabukas ng pinto. Pa-share.”

“Teka lang ha. I’m nekkid. Totally nekkid”

“Ok lang.”

After a minute, he opened the door. He’s wearing his boxers already. I just stood there for five seconds but it seemed like eternity, let out a sigh, and started talking.

“Ok. Can I ask you a favor? Can I kiss you? Maybe this is just because of the alcohol but I’ve had the longest crush on you, and I know you’re straight and all, but it’s now or never. You can say no, and we’ll forget this. But, yeah, can I kiss you?" I was stuttering as I spoke.

Silence. Awkward silence. Really awkward silence.

“You can say no. Then we’ll forget about this”, I said.


I was surprised.

“Well, I dunno, a smack would do. Yeah, smack.  But a deep kiss seems nice. But, I dunno. Ikaw na bahala.”

At this point, I covered my eyes with my two hands. I realized that I looked like a total dork, stupid and childish by doing that. But I can’t help it. I was very, very nervous.

I felt him come near me. I let out a nervous laugh when I felt him only inches away from me.

“Wag kang tumawa.” He laughed nervously, too.

“Ok, sorry. Hindi na.” I smiled. My eyes were shut and both my hands still covering them. I felt him coming closer.

Then it happened.

Well you stood there with me in the doorway
My hands shake
I’m not usually this way
But you pulled me in and I’m a little more brave
It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin'
It's fearless

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