What do you say to taking chances?
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there’s solid ground below or hand to hold or hell to pay
What do you say?
What do you say?
It happened dawn of May 2. And I owe my courage to alcohol and some words he said when the two of us went to buy those alcohol.
“Basta ako pinupuntahan ko yung mga gusto kong puntahan, kinain ko yung gusto kong kainin, ginagawa ko yung gusto kong gawin. Yun kasi ang turo saken eh”, he said.
“It makes sense. I mean, I’m firm believer that at end of the day, what matters most is you’re happy. When opportunity comes, grab it. Lalo na of you know that may never come again”, I replied.
We were in a public resort with the rest of our high school batch mates. We were around 20 and we just came from a grand high school reunion earlier that day. We arrived in the resort around 6ish in the afternoon. We started drinking around 10 PM. Not all joined though. It was mostly the boys with a core group of four – me, him and two other guys.
I’ve had the longest crush on him. He wasn’t exactly my super duper ultimate crush back then, but he’s tall, dark, handsome (my weakness) and got these very chinky eyes. He’s funny, draws well, and gets along with others pretty well. We weren’t close friends because I belong in what they call geek circle and he belongs to what we call the artist circle. He was my crush but not so much. Until that night.
He was topless, wearing only his blue green board shorts. He’s got toned body, abs, and the perfect amount and size of muscles here and there. And he’s got nice arms (my weakness again). Even before we started drinking, I can’t help but look at his body whenever I had the chance. But at first it was because I am envious of his body. Who wouldn’t want to have that kind of body? We have a print model batch mate with us but his is bleh to crush’s bod. Then later on, I was looking at it because it was so turning me on. Seriously, his body is oh-so-hot
After six bottles of alcohol (The Bar if you’re wondering), there were only four of us left drinking. Pretty drunk, he started rubbing ice cubes in his nipple. He said it felt nice and asked us to try it. I was the last to try because, well, I’m conservative. But they prodded me to try it. It felt…nothing. My body is pretty numb after all the alcohol we imbibed. So I stopped and just watched him rub the ice to his now perky nips. Holy cow I was so turned on just watching him! I was staring at him the whole time and I know he knows it. But to be fair to him, I know he’s not doing it to tease me. He’s was just amused how it felt.
We stopped after the eighth bottle because all stores were already closed. We decided to take the shower and change clothes. We used the girls shower rooms because the goddamn shower room for boys had no lights and the darkness was so dark we can’t see anything. I took the shower room beside his. That’s when I had my angel vs. devil moment.
And, yeah, the devil won.
“It’s now or never”, I said to myself.
I went out of the shower room and knocked on his.
“Hey. Pabukas ng pinto. Pa-share.”
“Teka lang ha. I’m nekkid. Totally nekkid”
“Ok lang.”
After a minute, he opened the door. He’s wearing his boxers already. I just stood there for five seconds but it seemed like eternity, let out a sigh, and started talking.
“Ok. Can I ask you a favor? Can I kiss you? Maybe this is just because of the alcohol but I’ve had the longest crush on you, and I know you’re straight and all, but it’s now or never. You can say no, and we’ll forget this. But, yeah, can I kiss you?" I was stuttering as I spoke.
Silence. Awkward silence. Really awkward silence.
“You can say no. Then we’ll forget about this”, I said.
“Smack?”
I was surprised.
“Well, I dunno, a smack would do. Yeah, smack. But a deep kiss seems nice. But, I dunno. Ikaw na bahala.”
At this point, I covered my eyes with my two hands. I realized that I looked like a total dork, stupid and childish by doing that. But I can’t help it. I was very, very nervous.
I felt him come near me. I let out a nervous laugh when I felt him only inches away from me.
“Wag kang tumawa.” He laughed nervously, too.
“Ok, sorry. Hindi na.” I smiled. My eyes were shut and both my hands still covering them. I felt him coming closer.
Then it happened.
Well you stood there with me in the doorway
My hands shake
I’m not usually this way
But you pulled me in and I’m a little more brave
It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin'
It's fearless
