Diploma, Death and Dr. DILF

I was in Powerbooks at Megamall this afternoon when I received a call from Ms. HR.  Actually, I texted her and asked for the schedule of orientation and contract signing. It was supposed to be this week but she told me that it would be on the first week of August instead. I felt a lil bit sad because I was excited to start working. I've been praying for a really big distraction for weeks now and working is definitely the biggest distraction I could have.

But looking on the bright side (coz I have no choice), the delay means a few more weeks to enjoy freedom. Though honestly, I'm not exactly sure how to spend that freedom. I'd prolly watch lotsa movies (Inception, Airbender, Salt, Despicable Me, Eat Pray Love). Or maybe get drunk in Elbi again.

Speaking of Elbi, I was there this morning to get my diploma and request a copy of my transcript of records. I saw my academic adviser and we had a little chitchat. Btw, my adviser is uber cool. She's much updated with the shenanigans of my no longer existing love life. Problem is she only has a bird's eye view so she took her turn in asking me the juicy details. I told her.

After having lunch with a couple of friends, I went back to Manila to die. I went to Clinica Manila to have what they call pre-employment medical examination. I hate doctors, dentists, hospitals, clinics and needles. Especially needles. I was shaking so bad that the nurse who had to extract a sample of my blood gave me a few minutes to calm down. And breathe. The shaking didn't end there. I was shaking when they were getting my BP, pulse rate and chest xray. I heard the word relax gazillion of times.

The only time I didn't shake because of fear was during the physical examination. The doctor is a total DILF. His hands were all over my body - back, neck, chest, and abdomen. But for medical reasons of course. Hahaha. I was disappointed though that he didn't ask me to take my clothes off. I remember stripping down during the required physical examination in my school. Had Doctor DILF asked me to strip, he would have found what's missing all his life. Hahaha.

Anyhoos, I would go back to the clinic tomorrow for the pupu sample. I hope to see Dr. DILF again.

---
Elsewhere
OneManga is closing down. I'm not a manga fan but I know a handful of friends who are gaga over manga.

Make or break Tuesday

Yesterday was a make or break day. I had my final interview for a job that I applied for two months ago. I really like the job. But I was sort of getting hopeless because two months of waiting and bumming really sucks. Also, I failed to take the initial exam the first two times they wanted me to take it. I was busy. Busy being broken hearted. Bah.

Anyhoos, I passed the final interview. It was a panel interview that took two unnecessarily long hours. I got the big boss talk more than I did by asking him questions. Hehe. But I admit I was pretty nervous because I didn't know that it would be a panel interview. It also didn't help how to impress a lawyer. Big boss is part of the panel and he's a lawyer.

One of the interviewers looked really masungit and uninterested. I think she just asked me two or three questions. One of which was about my knowledge of the company. I was thisclose in giving a wrong answer. Instead of saying the name of one of the businesses of their company, I almost said the name of their biggest competitor. And I think she sensed that. Lol.

I also stuttered, mispronounced words, and digressed a couple of times. Hehe. But I did some of the digressing on purpose. I sensed that their eyes glow whenever I talk about certain topics, events or people that they are familiar about. Let them indulge, I said to myself. Lol.

But I sensed that I passed the interview when they started nodding at each other. Then Big Boss started talking about their existing projects and their future plans. And he was addressing me as if I'm already part of the group. I was trying my hard not to smirk when he kept on doing that. Hahaha.

I'll sign the job contract this week.


Note:
Yeah, I was supposed to blog about this yesterday. But the BV really got into me and it overpowered this GV. Yaan nyo na naihabol naman.

---
I wanna watch Adolf Alix's Muli. Three reasons: Sid Lucero, the songs, and Sid Lucero.

Boy Next Door

I've been using the pink boy next door tag for quite some time now but I haven't really read a definition of the phrase boy next door. So I did a little research and found these very interesting definitions.

From MSN Encarta

Ordinary man or boy: a type of man or boy who is unaffected, approachable, and perceived as similar to yourself

From Wikipedia.com

The boy next door is an archetype of storytelling. He is often invoked in Western contexts to indicate wholesome, unassuming, or "average" masculinity. He is a young man with a sweet, shy demeanor who is just discovering his physical and spiritual strengths. The boy next door maintains his innocent wonder due to his charm, sincerity and preservation of virginity. He is never arrogant and mostly reserved.

From Wikitionary.org

A regular, typical boy, as opposed to a superstar.

From UrbanDictionary.com

A teenage male, very wholesome and unassuming, and maintains an innocence about him. Very sincere, sometimes shy, sometimes confiedent and rarely arrogant. A sweet boy, someone who girls are proud to bring home to their parents because of his charm, demeanor and sincerity. Very innocent when it comes to romance, almost always a virgin.

But these are my favorite definitions, still from UrbanDictionary.com

A shy boy. Often loved by all females in the neighborhood secretely. Basically, a shy man-whore.

A shy, very nice guy. Usually blonde and/or blue-eyed. Can be portrayed as innocent but is secretly deceiving.

I suddenly remembered this pretty boy from this

McDo advertisement.

---
Elsewhere
Up to 80% sale at Powerbooks
And according to Toxic Disco Boy (via his FB), Topshop/Topman is having a sale too.

Too bad I'm broke. My monthly allowance now is only 1/3 of what I used to receive.

Poll
I was a having a conversation with a friend and we happened to talk about kissing. He said that a really good kiss can make him cum. Interesting. Now, I wonder, are good kissers born or made? There's a poll in the sidebar. Tell me what you think. *smirk*

Turn ons

image source

I'm quite reserved when it comes to sex and sex talk. I don't know much about it and I definitely haven't experimented much. But as of late, I feel the need to learn more about it so I would deliver better next time. *smirk*

I was chatting with this new friend when he popped the question, "what turns you on?" Lemme share my response to his question.

Smut. I love smut. My first taste of smut was from those sleazy tabloids like Abante (Xerex) and Toro. We have a jeepney driver neighbor who always buys such tabloids. After reading it, he leaves the paper in a nipa hut which was a common place where we neighbors hang out. I would secretly get the paper, read in it the comfort room and jack off. Hahaha. Between video porn, image porn and smut, I'll always settle for smut.

Dirty talk. Come on. Men are meant to be dirty. And dirty talk is music to my ears. ;)

Men in uniform. Police and military men especially. The mere presence of these men wakes every part of my body...particularly that part. Haha. Problem with these species, however, is that there are few who has face value. I don't put much value on their looks but a decent face is still important. But 90% of the time, I'm just ogling at their body. Those big arms, broad shoulders, and their it-can't-get-any-bulgier-than-this crotches.

Straight porn. I like gay porn but straight porn makes my horny hormones hit the roof. Don't get me wrong though. I only like straight men in porn and not in real life. Hehe.

Facial hair. I don't want a pretty boy. I don't want my man polished. I want him rugged. And facial hair makes one man rugged and hot.

Makeup sex, anger sex, and partially inebriated sex. There's just so much lust and passion in makeup sex and anger sex. My testosterone level hits sky high during make up sex or anger sex. On the other hand, I like having sex when I'm partially inebriated because I feel super. I feel like I can do anything. Anything. *smirk*

Ikaw, what turns you on?

Hush hush

I wanted to tell you all my secrets...until you became one of them.

I wonder why some people just really suck in keeping secrets.

I consider myself pretty good in keeping secrets. Out of 10 secrets I have, only one will be revealed. And the most probable reason why it would come out in the open is because that one moron who I shared the secret with can't keep his mouth shut like the way he can't keep his hands on his pockets...or his penis in his pants.

Or maybe it's my fault. You see, I like sharing my secrets to at least one soul. But that's another story.

Most people see me as a boy who wouldn't break the rules. Not even bend them. Most of my friends think that I have nothing but good intentions and that I am made up of love, care, trust, hope, and all other four cute little words that you find in Hallmark cards. My charm works on both boys and girls. How can one one not fall for one sweet and innocent looking guy, right? But truth is I have a lot of skeletons in my closet just like everyone else.

I have committed many things that you wouldn't imagine I can do. These things I have done would make you rethink if I'm really the guy you know. Before you get too paranoid lemme just say that I haven't killed anyone (yet). That's too extreme. The things I'm talking about here are stuffs that you have heard or you may even know someone who have done it. But given my reputation and image, you really wouldn't imagine that I have done it.

Just recently, I learned that one of my secrets in no longer a secret. Apparently, the stupid bastard who was supposed to keep the secret as hard as I was trying to keep it couldn't help but share it to another soul.I don't blame him though for having the urge to share it and acting on that urge. I'm just fucking annoyed that he doesn't know how to choose the people he will a share a secret with. Especially that secret. Our reputations are now both at stake. Dimwit.

Aimlessly

As I was walking the streets of Mandaluyong, I realized something.

I don’t want to work (yet).

After my second job interview somewhere in San Miguel Avenue, I decided to kill time in Megamall. I walked, and walked, and walked and walked some more, aimlessly until me feet were feeling sore. I realized that what I have realized is a problem. A big problem at that.

As much as I don’t want to work (yet), I don’t want to be a bum either. I’m a boring person by nature. I even bore myself sometimes. That means I can’t afford not to do anything because I’ll probably go nuts.

Now how do I make ends meet?

I don’t want to work (yet) but I feel that I need to work. Mom would probably won’t mind if I rest for a while but it’s just not right. I’ve spent six years in college already. By not working as soon as possible, I’ll be a burden longer. And that’s just a shame.

I took a cab home and spent the whole travel tome convincing myself that this a just phase and I’ll get over it once I receive a job offer.

I texted Jap (my boyfriend) about my problem.  (By the way, my boyfriend is soooo sweet he met me at Megamall, and we had lunch together, and then he went with me to the find the building where the company I’m applying at is located. He did all these even if it meant he had to cut work.) He told me to think about what I really want.

Now that’s another problem. I don’t know what I want.

Lame

I woke up 5:45 to prep up for my jogging activity. I decided last night I am so getting rid of the excessive fats in tummy. I blame beer and eating too much rice as the culprit.

UPLB Freedom Park

Walk-walk-jog-walk-jog-walk.

Barely 45 minutes and I felt-oxygen deprived.

So I decided to go home.

---
Elsewhere

Losers, that's what you are...

"Several losers, mostly lawmakers seeking reelection, brought up the issue of the time stamp during the hearing." Locsin loses it in House over his ‘baby’

Willie: Please release me! by Ricky Lo

I missed half of my life by not seeing this last night. >_<

I went out of the house but the moon was nowhere in sight. =[

Kissing a straight guy

What do you say to taking chances?

What do you say to jumping off the edge?

Never knowing if there’s solid ground below or hand to hold or hell to pay

What do you say?

What do you say?

It happened dawn of May 2. And I owe my courage to alcohol and some words he said when the two of us went to buy those alcohol.

“Basta ako pinupuntahan ko yung mga gusto kong puntahan, kinain ko yung gusto kong kainin, ginagawa ko yung gusto kong gawin. Yun kasi ang turo saken eh”, he said.

“It makes sense. I mean, I’m firm believer that at end of the day, what matters most is you’re happy. When opportunity comes, grab it. Lalo na of you know that may never come again”, I replied.

We were in a public resort with the rest of our high school batch mates. We were around 20 and we just came from a grand high school reunion earlier that day. We arrived in the resort around 6ish in the afternoon. We started drinking around 10 PM. Not all joined though. It was mostly the boys with a core group of four – me, him and two other guys.

I’ve had the longest crush on him. He wasn’t exactly my super duper ultimate crush back then, but he’s tall, dark, handsome (my weakness) and got these very chinky eyes. He’s funny, draws well, and gets along with others pretty well. We weren’t close friends because I belong in what they call geek circle and he belongs to what we call the artist circle. He was my crush but not so much. Until that night.

He was topless, wearing only his blue green board shorts. He’s got toned body, abs, and the perfect amount and size of muscles here and there. And he’s got nice arms (my weakness again). Even before we started drinking, I can’t help but look at his body whenever I had the chance. But at first it was because I am envious of his body. Who wouldn’t want to have that kind of body? We have a print model batch mate with us but his is bleh to crush’s bod. Then later on, I was looking at it because it was so turning me on. Seriously, his body is oh-so-hot

After six bottles of alcohol (The Bar if you’re wondering), there were only four of us left drinking. Pretty drunk, he started rubbing ice cubes in his nipple. He said it felt nice and asked us to try it. I was the last to try because, well, I’m conservative. But they prodded me to try it. It felt…nothing. My body is pretty numb after all the alcohol we imbibed. So I stopped and just watched him rub the ice to his now perky nips. Holy cow I was so turned on just watching him! I was staring at him the whole time and I know he knows it. But to be fair to him, I know he’s not doing it to tease me. He’s was just amused how it felt.

We stopped after the eighth bottle because all stores were already closed. We decided to take the shower and change clothes. We used the girls shower rooms because the goddamn shower room for boys had no lights and the darkness was so dark we can’t see anything. I took the shower room beside his. That’s when I had my angel vs. devil moment.

And, yeah, the devil won.

“It’s now or never”, I said to myself.

I went out of the shower room and knocked on his.

“Hey. Pabukas ng pinto. Pa-share.”

“Teka lang ha. I’m nekkid. Totally nekkid”

“Ok lang.”

After a minute, he opened the door. He’s wearing his boxers already. I just stood there for five seconds but it seemed like eternity, let out a sigh, and started talking.

“Ok. Can I ask you a favor? Can I kiss you? Maybe this is just because of the alcohol but I’ve had the longest crush on you, and I know you’re straight and all, but it’s now or never. You can say no, and we’ll forget this. But, yeah, can I kiss you?" I was stuttering as I spoke.

Silence. Awkward silence. Really awkward silence.

“You can say no. Then we’ll forget about this”, I said.

“Smack?”

I was surprised.

“Well, I dunno, a smack would do. Yeah, smack.  But a deep kiss seems nice. But, I dunno. Ikaw na bahala.”

At this point, I covered my eyes with my two hands. I realized that I looked like a total dork, stupid and childish by doing that. But I can’t help it. I was very, very nervous.

I felt him come near me. I let out a nervous laugh when I felt him only inches away from me.

“Wag kang tumawa.” He laughed nervously, too.

“Ok, sorry. Hindi na.” I smiled. My eyes were shut and both my hands still covering them. I felt him coming closer.

Then it happened.

Well you stood there with me in the doorway

My hands shake

I’m not usually this way

But you pulled me in and I’m a little more brave

It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin'

It's fearless

Hello, World!

Kuting

Kahapon pa may umiiyak na kuting sa masukal na likod ng apartment ko. At kahapon pa din nakokonsensya dahil sa non-stop nyang pag-iyak. Gusto ko naman sya kunin, pakainin, arugain at ampunin. Kaso hindi ko kaya. Aalis ako dito sa apartment ko sa Sabado. Baka Lunes o Martes pa balik ko. Pano na sya sa mga araw na wala  ako? Sa katapusan ng buwan wala na din ako dito. Tapos na kontrata ko. Babalik na ko sa amin. Pano na sya? Hindi ko naman siya pwede iuwi dahil lahat nga tao sa bahay namin ay may hika. Ako lang ang wala.

Kagabi naramdaman ko na umakyat sya samay bintana. Sarado yung bintana ko kasi ayokong may pumasok ng mga insekto (takot kasi ako sa mga insekto). Na-tempt ako pagbuksan sya. Magdamag sya umiiyak.Kaninang umaga naman pag gising ko napabalikwas ako kasi di ko na nadidinig na umiiyak. Naisip ko baka patay na - namantay sa gutom, uhaw o pagod o kaya naman tinuklaw at kinain na ng ahas. Pag sililp ko sa bintana, nandun siya. First time ko sya makita. Napatingin din sya saken. Para syang si Puss 'n Boots na nagmamakaawa. Kulay abo nga lang sya.

Nagtanung-tanong na ko sa mga kakilala ko kung interesado sila ampunin yung kuting kaso lahat negative ang sagot. Di na nga daw nila maalagaan sarili nila, mag-aampon pa sila ng aalagaan. Yung isa naman kakapanganak lang daw ng kuting nila sa hindi na nila kaya mag-ampon.

Tawagan ko kaya ang PETA o PAWS? May PAWS ba dito sa LB na pwede kong tawagan?

O baka ikaw interesado ka sa kuting.

---
Update:

May dumagdag pang isang kuting. Great. :|

Oh well

So I started looking for a job yesterday. I emailed my resume to, wait lemme check, four companies already. Mom said I don't have to work immediately. She told me that I should rest for a while and suggested that I spend a month at my Tito's house in Batangas. That was a tempting offer, really, but I had to say no. First, one month is way too long. I can't do nothing for more than a week. Second, I'll miss boyfie. Third, I don't want to waste job opportunities. Fourth, I want to save up for my master's degree. I plan to take my MS two years from now.

I appreciate mom's effort to remind me to take a break. But I really don't want to waste opportunities. There are not much opportunities for my specialization (Human Ecology major in Social Technology if you're wondering) so I really have to strike the iron whilst it's hot. She also promised to give financial support once I start taking my MS. Nice.

Mom and I were talking about these thru video call. It was cool until she asked me this question in a low, serious voice.

Mom: Pipo, may itatanong ako sa'yo.

*Kabado. Feeling ko itatanong nya kung bakla ba ako.*

Ako: Ano yun?

Mom: May girlfriend ka na ba?

*Seriously, ready na ko umamin sa kanya. Matagal ko na din namang inaantay 'tong moment na 'to eh. Kaso ayun hindi pala yun ang itatanong nya.*

Ako: Wala! Wala.

Mom: Ah. Tinatanong ko lang naman. Ok lang naman kung gusto mo na. Tapos ka na naman mag-aral. Napagtapos na naman kita. Nagawa ko na responsibilidad ko sayo. Buti nga tapos ka na kesa naman gayahin mo yung iba na di pa tapos mag-aral eh may ano na.

Ako: Wala. Wala pa talaga. Tska na yun. Magta-trabaho muna ko.

Mom: Ikaw bahala.

I was relieved. I think. But it could have been better if she asked me that question. Or maybe I should told her why I don't have a girlfriend...

Mom: Pipo, may itatanong ako sa'yo.

Ako: Ano yun?

Mom: May girlfriend ka na ba?

Ako: Wala, Ma. Wala. Pero may, umm, boyfriend ako.

Mom: Ano?! Bakla ka? Wag ka magbiro ng ganyan ha, Pipo. Di ba nagka-girlfriends ka na dati.

Ako: Di ako nagbibiro, Ma. Oo, nagka-girlfriends ako dati. Pero bakla ako. 

Seriously, I don't know how my Mom will take it. I'm her only son, her only child in fact. Point is, I don't know here that much and she doesn't know me too well either. She left the country to work overseas when I was barely six. But as early as six, I already knew why she had to leave so I don't have issues with her. Only problem is, we don't know each other that much.

Oh well.

I'm Yours

I may not have the softest touch 
I may not say the words as such 
And though I may not look like much 
But I'm yours 


And though my edges may be rough 
And never feel I'm quite enough 
It may not seem like very much 
But I'm yours


I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
I know I don't fit in that much
But I'm yours


- The Script

Team Uh at One Laiya

So one of the in groups ingroups I am part of, Team Uh, went to Laiya, Batangas last weekend. A get together of some sort as most of us are done with college. Team Uh is composed of no more than 10 indivduals, six of which were able to attend the Laiya trip. I'm not exactly sure how many are we in the Team but I'm sure we're no more than 10. And don't ask who the other members are coz I dunno either. Lol.

The place is called One Laiya Resort. It's nowhere near the likes of Boracay or Puerto. We can't afford that YET. Lol. It's a relatively new resort that is still being developed. Average cottages, no bars or anything fancy in the shore, night life is zero, rare sightings of hawtees. But the blue/green sea is great. And the corals. And the people. Enough talk. Here are some (low res) pictures.

Our cottage

Yummy watermelons.

Without Amak we'd starve to death

Balut

We made a bonfire where we cooked hotdogs without

marshmallows. I hate marshmallows.

We road a boat...

....and snorkeled. I barely tried it. I'm afraid of the waters you see.

Seriously, even with a life vest, I still sink. I dunno why.

I never removed my grip off the boat's, umm, balancer.

That was pretty much what happened on day one. Day two sucked. I had a high fever that I can't get up from bed. I had to lie down all day because I was feeling dizzy and nauseous. :( I suspect the consecutive all-nighters got into me. The rest of the team enjoyed the sand, sea and sex. Kidding. No sex. We're wholesome, ya see. More pictures.

Even with that damn fever the get together was fun. We're looking forward to Puerto next summer and hopefully with new Uh members. 

--

P.S.

I love you Team. Thank you for taking care of me. =)

Ma'am Emy

"Kaya nyo yan Pips. I believe in you. Don't worry about mistakes. They are part of one's journey towards self-improvement. Today is just a speck in your lifetime. Try to do well but never think that who you are and who you can become is determined by just today."

That was my academic adviser's text message before we left Elbi to present the result of our study to our bosses in Batangas.

With our bosses

And I think we did well in the presentation.

Thank you Ma'am Emy.

XXX Dreams

Bah.

I'm really not comfortable having XXX dreams. I have to admit though that its '"fun" but only 'till I wake up. I get extremely guilty afterwards especially if I was "involved" in those dreams.

Anyone here who gets the same feeling I get?

Bye Elbi

After more than a week of waiting and feeling exasperated, I am now relieved. Relieved because finally I'm certain that I'll be doing my practicum this sem. Though I was not assigned to the firm I like most (Blacksmith Institute), they placed on my second choice - Pilipinas Shell. What happened to Globe? I dunno and I don't wanna talk about it.

I'm with three other practicumers. Fortunately, I know these three and I had the chance to work with them before. Two of them are like one of my super friends. So I think we have a very promising team.

We'll leave Elbi on Wednesday. I'm gonna miss Oble and my fellow Isko. *sigh*

See you on March.

***

Dear Ma'am Carla and Ma'am Emy,

I doubt if you'll be able to read this but I just want to say sorry for the long face kanina. One week of waiting and feeling exasperated really took its toll on me. I could have been worse. But our relationship is more than a teacher-student type and with that in mind I reminded myself not to be a total pain in the ass. I know you worked so hard to strike a deal with them and I'm really thankful to you. You know how long I've waited for this to happen and so I just couldn't bear the idea of being the one of the last students to be assigned in a practicum firm. Again, I'm really sorry.

I promise that I'll do my best there and all your efforts will not be put to waste.

Facebook Whatevers

You don't talk to me in the morning when I just woke up. You just shut your mouth and wait until I talk to you. Or until I tell you to do something for me - turn off the light, stop that sound you're playing or gimme my pillow that travelled over the night to god-knows-where. You just let me be when I just woke up.

The first thing I do when I wake up is look in the mirror and see if the parts of my body are in their proper places. They tend to go all over and rearrange themselves over the night as I'm a really restless sleeper. Ok. It's just vanity. After checking myself out, I wash my face then take a leak. It's important to wash your face first before you take a leak especially if you're a guy. We get very disoriented in the morning that we tend to be very unhygienic. You still don't talk to me.

I'm really really cranky, moody and grumpy in the morning. That's why I don't look at my Facebook immediately. I read emails, news, blog updates and Twitter updates immediately but not my Facebook. My Facebook is a potential day-wrecker. I have sane friends there but then again I have annoying contacts too. They're not always annoying though. But their status updates just get into my nerves sometimes.

• Friend declares that she and her boyfriend called it quits. Five minutes later she updated her status message saying that she has moved on.
• She's so excited to hold her new gadget. She posted about it 10 million times.
• She keeps complaining about her students. She's (almost) cursing them. She despises her job. Somebody remind her she chose to be a teacher.
• "A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon", she said.
• He needs to set everything right. He needs to start with himself. He updated while nursing a bottle of bear in one hand, a shot of tequila and a stick of cigarette in the other.
• She thinks she looks ugly in her new profile picture. Why post it then? 
• He claims he doesn't believe in love. What-eee-burrr.
• Friend changed relationship status from single to in a relationship. He's emo.
• She asked for more time to settle the issues thrown at her. It's been three fucking years.
• They bash our field of specialization. But her current job is not for her. She wasn't trained to do that job. That's OUR job, OUR expertise. She's just pretending to know what she's doing and she knows it.
• They're on a (reducing) diet.

They're gonna hate me for this. But at least we're even now.

-----
listening to: Beautiful Mess (Jason Mraz)

Haunted

The so-called mistakes of the past are haunting me.

And they really make me uncomfortable.

Why did I do those things kasi?

And how come I'm the only one being haunted?

Totally not fair.

Tsk.

Craving

mcdonald's apple pie. gimme some love.